Ambulance ride and the Grim Reaper

Well, it has been an up and down week – physically and emotionally.

When all this started 5+ weeks ago, the most severe symptoms were profound fatigue and feeling very crappy all the time (much to my chagrin, I don’t have a better word then crappy). But not nauseous, as I never felt like I was going to vomit and the crappy feeling didn’t seem to emanate from my stomach. As the fatigue and crappy feeling started to lift in the last couple of weeks, I was able to be more functional.

Things have changed in the last week or so. I now have 1 or 2 bouts of nausea each day that last about an hour – but no longer experience the crappy feeling and instead of being very fatigued, I am merely low on energy most of the time. I also have sporadic abdominal pain, mostly on my left side. And some of the anxiety attack-like episodes – I say ‘like’ because I don’t experience the psychological fear/flee symptom - have become more intense and longer in duration. During a recent episode people asked me if I was okay to drive because I was shaking so vigorously. As I shook in the check out line of the grocery store, the cashier asked me if I was cold as she glanced outside at our sunniest, warmest day yet this year.

The night after my last blog post I had a severe episode of racing heart, rapid breathing, sweaty palms, and shaking. Even though the symptoms were more intense then any other previous episode, I assumed it would also pass in less then 10 minutes. Instead, it became worse – my abdominal and thigh muscles also started shaking – pretty much my whole body just trembled uncontrollably – and after about another 10 minutes without abatement I decided it was time to call an ambulance. Even though paramedics arrived in just a few minutes, the rush of adrenaline had ceased and I was left feeling only mildly (comparatively!) trembley and with slightly elevated blood pressure, which, 5 minutes later, was in the normal range. Once in the emergency room they ran blood tests and did a chest x-ray – the same things my own doc had already done – but no clues were evident. However, I now have an appointment this week with an Internist at an internal medicine clinic – which my doc is happy about.

I also went for a chest/heart CT scan and stress test this week – they said they would call me directly within 48 hours if anything was amiss and they didn’t so I’m assuming my heart is not the problem. Next up is a CT scan of my abdomen and should show any adrenal gland tumours. I am also about to start a 24 hour urine collection for analysis which is the third piece of the puzzle in determining if I have this very rare tumour.

Since it is very rare to have a pheochromocytoma tumour and they are difficult to diagnose, I asked my doc what his second best guess was and he said anxiety attacks even though I don’t have the psychological symptoms. Anxiety attacks without the anxiety. Just attacks. Lovely.

Actually, I really like that theory much better and have been trying to justify it – some of the onset of these episodes have been in social situations (albeit non-stressful) and the episode I had at 4:30am yesterday woke me out of a dream about my running buddy Brian who died totally unexpectedly 2 days earlier at only age 49. Seems like a strong anxiety link to me. And much less daunting then a tumour. But doesn’t really explain my earlier symptoms and only sort of explains abdominal pain and bouts of nausea.

Saturday, after the early morning episode and a brief one mid-morning, I felt better as the day went on and I noticed that my appetite came back – also, no sweaty palms or other symptoms – I even rode my bike to meet friends for lunch – and by the time I went to bed that night I was feeling quite good and started to think again about easing back into training. I even dared to think that maybe I could still make it to the start line of Ironman Louisville.

Alas, another bout of nausea yesterday morning followed by abdominal pain when I tried to ride my bike has derailed those thoughts – hopefully the Internist I see this week will get me back on that exercise train. Derailed, train – get it? Crack me up.

Losing another friend suddenly and unexpectedly really drives home the need – again - to enjoy each day, each moment. Before the inevitable visit from the grim reaper that we all will eventually receive.

Rolling with the punches,

Scott